It's very true. You are not bangsa Malaysia.

I often read the blog of our dear Ipoh Timur MP - Lim Kit Siang (I voted for him!) of the many 'wonders' of our 'Bolehland'. I am particularly interested in the current higher education system as I am striving in it right now. I hate it when LKS continually mengutuk our edu-system and sometimes it saddens me to death, though I know what he said is very true and real. I was and am brought up by our very own Bolehland education system and is a 'victim' for almost 17 years. It hurts to know that the country you love still has no place for you and this system will deprive you in every manner possible. I feel deprived off my rights. After having a great chat with my co-supervisor (a chinese, mad-scientist), it makes me happy to know that I still have hope:

I told him of my ambition to be a lecturer. What saddens me is he said that my chances of being a lecturer in my current university is very super low. I ask him why. He gave me almost 3 reasons and all 3 reasons are race-related. I am very sad, I told him. He ask me to teach in a private college/uni. The money is good there. I told him if I go to private college, I won't get to do research. He said, nothing can be done. He added that I need some LUCK, big LUCK, as well as 'being at the right place at the right time'. I think I need His blessings and a miracle, maybe. I never believe in luck, I told him. He smiled.

My supervisor gave me some hope: He told me that I'm good student and that I will succeed in life, and my presentation skills are outstanding. He still said that we, chinese do not need to rub shoulders with anyone to obtain anything. We can be successful by doing it all our own. Don't depend on anyone. I had a thought in my mind, I need to depend on God. He told me that my main supervisor is arranging for me to go to Imperial College London to work with a professor there. I was thrill, but when I realized that I have to pay for my expenses there - FORGET IT! Dad will have hole in his pocket....large hole. But, thank you Prof. Dzol! I appreciate the opportunity!

Since, I am not valuable to the system here, my as well run away from Bolehland. I am always, always, always thinking about running away from Bolehland. If I land myself a Ph.D. in Bolehland, nobody appreciates me here. Sad, but true. LKS has always push for reformation in education system, but reformation, I doubt, will ever come. Because, LKS is chinese, and I'm chinese. Government don't (never!) control pork prices, because we chinese consume them. What the hell!

Blessing in Disguise....

4 weeks ago, I prayed to God really hard so that I will have more time for Him, and make more time for myself as my workload in the university was getting heavier.

4 weeks ago, I had 5 things jammed-up in one single weekend (see the previous blog), and I had to choose which one to attend to....F1, Swimming, Church, Scholarship and Aikido.

4 weeks ago, God gave me appendicitis! In fact, not just any simple, BURST appendicitis - an appendicitis that would change the course of my life at least for the next few months.....

I was laying in bed, after operation, wondering why would an appendicitis happen in such a critical week!???!! There was sooo many things for me to accomplish that week! I was lying in hospital bed, weak, after an emergency 3-hour-operation: the surgeon came an told me that I could have died and my condition was very, very very ver serious. That was when I saw that life was soo precious, and the one thing that delayed my coming to the hospital is that I just didn't want to be hospitalised THAT particular week because there were so many things up that week. I still didn't want to admit (even to the point of near death) that I was sick.

People said that I am a strong, vigourous girl - I go Aikido, Swim for my university, Super-independent. But, God send me this appendix to tell me that I am weak, and I need to get my priorities right. And u know what!? - 4 weeks after the appendicitis, I feel much relaxed without having to think about aikido, swimming, and loads of stuffs, I have time for church, and I have time for myself. I HAVE ALL THE TIME NOW!!!

Of course, being a Ph.D. student - the workload keeps piling up, but, I need not think about any other activities at present. My life is completely changed. I thank God for that and showing me the path.

Appendicitis - Blessing in disguised? I believe so.

18th March 2006 - Date to remember!

I checked my schedule book/diary, whatever u called it.....I realised that I had FIVE very important matters to deal with on one single date - 18th March 2006. Okay, I've got:

1) F1 qualifying rounds at Sepang F1 circuit, which i had already planned to go since i bought those tickets.

2) Swimming competition representing UPM at an MMU swiming carnival at Bukit Jalil. I will be swimming my favourite 100m back, 100m breast, 100m butterfly.

3) Church got some classes on baptism...something soemthing....not clear....dunno what some Cell Group meeting...

4) Aikido Class on saturday morning! Demonstration in Atria, Damansara Jaya.

5) Dateline for a scholarship that I am applying.

Aiseh, which one should I attend, man???!!!!

In fact this coming week itself I have many thing baffling my mind...exams, test, presentation, oral demonstration...Love my live, though.

Good Days of Old

Arrrrrrrrrr......sooo nice....My soo romantic boy boy brought me out for a Valentine dinner at Ceylon Hill. Well, it's not at Sri Lanka or something, but this place off Jalan Tun Razak is such a thrill. The ambient is great for valentine love birds. The dinner set prepared is laden with food of aphrodisiac properties such as oysters, mint, chocolate, garlic, asparagus, etc. Cheezzz....this restaurant really did do their research!

I brought in a bottle of red wine - Shiraz from Australia, a 2003 vintage. I think i got a little drunk cause this wine contains slightly more alcohol than other typical wine. My boy gave me a superb gift - a beautiful watch. I dare said that this is the most expensive gift I've gotten in my lifetime (besides my laptop, of course. Thanks Dad!). But the greatest gift that I've gotten so far is your Love. :)

Nowadays, my schedule in the Uni is sooo hectic that I barely have time to spoil myself. That is why I guess I enjoyed the dinner sooo much during Valentine. I spoil myself often especially when I was working previously. I used to go Starbucks a lot (I am now in one!), but nowadays, I am either in the lab, the library or on the road (jam everyday!). Even Aikido and Swimming is something I yearn (like some pregnant woman) and salivate when i hear of any one of those words being mentioned. Come to think of it - I haven't paid my Aikido fees.....shucks...I can't imagine that the last Zara blouse I brought was last January. I usually buy a blouse from Zara or MNG once a month...that was when I had a job!

Darn good old days.

Dragon Horse Sperm God, Everybody!!!

Things to do before first day of CNY 2006:



1. Sweep my already-soo-very-clean floor
2. Wash my beautiful red car again, although I've washed it twice this week.
3. Check the tyres, wipers, engine oil, and lights of my car - I know there's something wrong with the lights
4. Make sure my Zara black blouse is as good as NEW, although it has been 1 month old.
5. Write proposal to Prof. Dzol
6. Fetch elder bro from KLIA airport
7. Bluff my mum that I've done my CNY shopping.
8. Tell mum that black (Zara) blouse is acceptable for CNY celebrations (and I have no choice)
9. Tell mum that my favourite colour has changed from Pink & red to BLACK

Lastly....Bluff mum that I (terrorist on the road), drove back real slowly to Ipoh. :)

Gong Hey Fatt Choy
Po Po Kou Tsing!
Dragon Horse Sperm God! to everybody

You must meet my Professor

Oh....Dr. Tan is a killer. He is also a joker, a story teller, an insinuator, a self-proclaimed genius, and a mad scientist! U know, each time you see him in class - he reminds you that he could beat you in a chess game. Each time you meet him, you will get some stories which always has the word - 'shit', 'bullshit' and f*** in it. There's always a moral behind those stories (you aesop fable)and ohhhh yes, he'll tell you loads of shit on Stephen Hawkings. He will make deduct your marks if you even say something wrong, or make wrong sentences, or wrong grammar.

Too bad my class has only 3 Ph.D. people! Only three!!!! Dr. Tan has not much choice. So, he will drill us with questions, make sure we make a blunder and then laughs the hell out of us. Our saviour could not be anyone else but this Iranian guy who dares to fight back Dr. Tan, and could answer every single question Dr. Tan throw at our faces CORRECTLY!. Thank God for this Iranian friend whose religion is Muslim, but loves Jesus and kisses the cross (pendant), and drinks wine because he told me that it's the blood of Christ. Holy cow. Dr. almost fainted when he heard that.

Oh, Iranian friend - You are God sent. You saved our lives from the notorious scientist.

While it Downloads

While I wait for the installation of my new browser (Opera), and the music by New Radicals' You've Got The Music In You playing in the background, I thought it would be great to write about year 2005 - what happened to me this year. Year 2005 which will end in 1 day's time is the best-est year for me. Here is the chronology of 2005:

January - I was selected to join UPM Swimming team!! We went to UUM for the first league. I was selected to join 5 events - 200m IM, 100m & 200m Breast stroke, 100m & 200m back troke. I got myself standing on the podium for one or 2 events but forgot which one.

February - UPM Swim Team rocked the Likas Pool in Sabah! Champions again! I won a couple of events, but again, I forgot which one - usually backstroke. Went diving in Pulau Sapi with team. Sooooooo terribly fun!! Sun- burn. Ended with final swim league in Bukit Jalil super cary cold pool. Won some events - 50, 100 & 200m backstroke, medley relay. End of MASUM.

March - Work day and night to finish-up final year project on Pesticide toxicology. Alas, all done. I spent a couple of hundreds of ringgit of my own money to finish my project. Met my boy-boy - really getting serious of our relationship.

April - So long UPM! Outta here! Relationship with boy-boy gotten stronger. Went to Easter Picnic with boy-boy's church friends. Called by Tradewinds company for an interview. Interview very successful. Manage to impressed interviewers. Hundred percent get job (so they said).

May - Job searching - couple of interviews on - Phillip Morris International had a big interview. PMI did a Donald Trump-like 'The Apprentice' - Didn't get through 3 round of interview. Not sad, cause I can't stand smoking colleagues. Tradewinds called back and said I'm not selected for their job, because I'm a girl (their jobs tooo dangerous for a lady like I). Racist..leh!
BERNAS also managed to interview me - Got the job immediately! Was in a middle of a large accident involving 6 cars at Bukit Jalil. Became witness to accident, but I drove-off from scene of acc.. Thank God - my car and I didn't even had a single scratch. Prof. Dzol said that I can do my Ph.D. staightaway and can skip masters - he will recommend me. Lucky May!!!

June - Start work with BERNAS. Eveyday see rice and paddy and machineries of paddy processing. Did a presentation on Rice Industry in Malaysia in front of bosses.

July to Ogos - BERNAS again.....work work work work. Nothing else. Went to Sekinchan, Tanjung Karang, Bagan Terap. So many friendly ppl there. Met neighbour and we realised we attend same church.

Sept to Oct- Work work work - was posted to Finance Department of BERNAS. And so they thought all chinese must be good in $$ and arithmetics. Ohhh...they are so, so wrong! Went to Kedah to audit the rice mills there. Aikido Camp in PD. Soooo relaxing and gambled (yes, with real money) whole night. Meanwhile, relationship with my boy-boy gets stronger day by day. Neighbour took me their cell group in Taman Paramount. I love the cell group. Everyone speaks Hokkien!

November - UPM sent offer letter to do Ph.D. in Entomology. Put the resignation letter on my boss' desk. He was soooo sad hat I'm going off, but he wished me luck. He asked me if I would stay a little longer in Finance, and asked me was it because of the money...I said NOPE...I answered: Studying is my hobby. Hehehheeee.

December - Start classes. Asked Prof. Dzol. about my project. He's broke, and so is the whole faculty. I forked out RM 2100 for this semester. Nevermind, fee is less then overseas. My parents also broke. Boy-Boy brought me to celebrate xmas countdown at Starhill. Soooo romantic and memorable. Thanks my dear. Love you. Aikido and swimming daily again! My bad habits.

I thank Jesus for all the blessings He gave me this year. I know God has laid the path for me; I will run the race for Him.

Un-motherly!! Kill Me NOW

I was sitting on the table during my Agriculture Faculty Dinner at a hotel in Putrajaya, sooo pissed off with her, that I could just blow my heads off at that very moment. Of course, I just smiled all the way thru the dinner, tried to ignore her loud announcement that my certificate had my name spelt wrong, trying to show off my large mock cheque to everyone, telling the people in my table that the food is little and scarce. Hey, there are 5 other award winners. I am no better than them, can't you see? And you arrived late for the dinner - you VIP or what?! Kill me now...

Imagine sitting with 7 other prominent faces in the academian world, and somebody just embarrassed you in the most unsubtle way! I was proud of myself getting one of the best award from faculty, but she spoilt it all. ALL!!!. Nobody wants to be famous. HOW CAN YOU BE FAMOUS, when there are sooo many famous ppl there, hahhh...Okay, you want to put me in the centre of attention, then do it subtlely. What is it with her that I am so not proud off?? You apple polish for me - telling the whole world that I'm buying books with the prize money. PLEASE !!! I am sooooo not buying any books with the cash money. I will be buying loads of clothings from Zara and MNG and Gucci and loathe on good food. And please, you are not my mother!

Friends indeed!

This week I managed to 'meet' some old faces. When I went to register for my postgraduate programme this week, I met Pui Wah. She was many years back, during secondary school, having same piano lessons with the same piano teacher in Ipoh. Now, she's doing her Ph.D. in Animal Sciences at UPM. She approached me to ask me whether I had a place to stay because she was searching for a room-mate. I was soooo glad I met her.

Then, when I opened The Star paper on the same day, I saw Cynthia Lian's name on one of the ads. Cynthia was this very pretty classmate while in my Form 6 at Raja Perempuan. It was this Inti College ad on their famous Law Programme. Wow...I somehow manage to spot the small print on this ad. Usually, I just flip through pages, ignoring most of the advertisement, especially those on TheStar (they have millions of ads - damn irritating). I like reading obituaries....shissshhh....I also dunno why.

Uniquely Singapore..

I checked my passport and I realised that it's filled with immigration chops and visas!!! Yes, I am a travel bug. Most of the visas were Singapore visiting visas. Since my passport was issued on year 2002, it never rests. Ohhh, wait til you see my parents' passport - it's like 'ham-choi' (salty vege).

Recently, I went to Singapore with my parents. My parents were always wanting to go somewhere every year, especially in December. S'pore was their main choice, as they claimed have always enjoyed the food there (what???!!!), and their x'mas decors in Orhard Road. I brought me along as I was always their ultimate guide esp. in Singapore. While my dad and mum ate and ate and ate, I shop and shop and shop. Bought 2 blouses from a boutique that you won't find in Malaysia. I love their clothings there. Not expensive, even if u convert to RM. I actually enjoyed myself - maybe because I of the 2 blouses that were in my hands. My dad said that Singaporean ladies are super thin/skinny, they wear well, and have good sense of clothings. Despite all that, he said that there are no pretty Singaporean gurls. Sorry Singaporeans (opinion only)! Most of the pretty girls are in Malaysia (he claimed so! He also claimed that Malay girls in Malaysia are the prettiest of them all).

I am just soo glad that I've made it somewhere else this December. Thought of going somewhere further, but the lack of resources ($$) and planning had brought me to the nearest over-seas (or straits): Singapore. Sadly, all will be lost when my Ph.D. starts this coming week.