Whole

The only obsession everyone wants: ‘love’. People think that in falling in love they make themselves whole?!? The platonic union of souls?!

I think otherwise.

I think you’re whole before you begin. And the love fractures you. You’re whole, and then you’re cracked open.

— Philip Roth

 

http://intherain.org/?p=169

Octopussy

Exactly at October 19, 2010 is my 1st Anniversary in Petronas!

I am loving every single minute with my team since Day 1. The work fits my personality and their technical demands is in line with what I had done during my Ph.D. There are definitely stressful times (like now!), where your brains are worked up 24-7 and you thought you just had a power nap in the office which turned up to be an hour's sleep at work! Opps! Since 1st anniversary is always known as 'Paper' anniversary = I have to say that I am given papers and tonnes of reports to do (Quarterly report, Annual Report, Monthly Report, you name it). Konon I am good in English here and I've been writing scientific reports during my Ph.D. years (but errr, wait til they read my pasar English in this blog). And errr...I am actually supposed to simplify all scientific reports here to layman's report. So, kononlah I am good in scientific report which doesn't fit the requirement anyway! Wuahahaha.

My department ppl are such foodie ppl, that I get FOC food all the time - Nasi Arab, Nasi Lemak, Nasi whatever, Bakso, Roti Jala, Sphagetti, etc.. Obviously no one here lets me cook - tak halal marr. Which makes me the luckiest person here! I am already known to just bring my stomach. Okay, okay, I did bring a watermelon or an apple or two. Only when being coerced.



Hari Raya company open house. HUGE HUGE HUGE buffet. YUmmmms



Makaning on the floor :)

I am known as the coffee addict at office. Who doesn't know that, eh? My colleague made me stop drinking coffee cause she saw me I drink at least two cups while in office - and if there's a meeting, make that three. Balik rumah, drink again...

My team had a team photo recently. My superior said this would be a photo full of great memories; might be our last (we all know why *wink*). Don't we all look like we came out from some penitentiary or what!??!!

BTW, half of my working life is actually in this huge 'prison cell' a.k.a greenhouse that requires hard labour. No matter how tough it is, I kinda enjoy every minute of it, esp. when you can start to reap what you sow, literally.

'prison cell' with plants.

soo amazing. plants growing soo well. All my hard labour.

October was also my luckiest month cause I get to see Adam Lambert live in KL! VIP seats some more. *muaks FP* His Falsetto is totally True. Better than what u imagined on TV's American Idol. Flawless. Such a handsome guy, but he needs a bit of gym work out. Spot his flabby arms while he danced gayfully :P I am still dreaming of the chances of being with him.

Next: My Halloween Party at my apartment 30 Oct 2010 7.30 pm. Wait for my personal invite. I will personally PM y'all.

Theme: Halloween, of course (hint: bedak sejuk).

Bad Romance! LOL!!!

I was sooo exhausted from everything that has happened this few weeks. First, was I had literally a work overload which i initially thought I could cope, but I obviously couldn't. I went down sick last Wednesday due to stress (I was not sick for half a year already!). Then, came more reports to write; my company's kinda having their mid year appraisal; and last but not least, I had a disease called 'Procrastination' - which elevated whatever workload I already had!

I stumbled upon this video from a blog I followed. It totally cheered me up! It totally released 50% of my stress. You need to watch this: It made my day!!! I hope it made yours too. It would be one of the cutest skit ever done. One of the best music videos by Gaga, became this:



BTW, it reminded me of Chin Yee & Ling2's wedding where the heng-tais went up to sing Robbie William's "Better Man". They were all soooo brave and amazingly 'prepared'. HOWEVER, what would be more interesting is that, I am putting (imagining) if my friends were these students who did Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance".




Take care y'all! ZzzzZzzzZZZ

I am confused:

• Oh gosh, my blusher is running out. Nope it's actually more like - broken into pieces! I need one like right NOW. I'm confused: some say you can use your lipstick/lip gloss as blusher. Is that true?

• The first time in Pacific Coffee, I was immediately overwhelmed with awe with its interior. But I am confused: The wireless internet connection did go connect eventhough the baristas kept insisting the pwd and username was right (digi broadband rejected the pwd/username). Sheeesh....

• I can't find time to teach swimming; there's no more space for new members too. And yet I keep sayingYES to every new potential student: mostly ah chee ah chor who wants to bring their kids or themselves (aunties) to swim. Some as far as Kepong! I am confused: With myself, cause I always wonder why I can't say 'no'.  **errr...maybe the money's good? Incentive to work marr...

• I lost my pendrive (the new one). I hope I misplaced it somewhere in the car. I am confused: I think I remembered not bringing it out from my home. So then, where is it? Cannot be....so important!

• I told him YES that I'm coming, but now I decided to go against it. So, I am confused: With myself again!

• But one thing I am not confused. And I know I made the right decision by saying NO to the romantic approaches of:
• A married man (scandal giler!),
• A man who doesn't believe in marriage (he told me on the first date that marriage is pointless),
• A man who already has a gf (and what's worst, she was soo nice to me),

         in a span of a week!
   

Confused:Not confused is 5:1, therefore...

I am still confused.

I did a Social Experiment....

Early this February, I told my a dear friend that I was bored with FB. He was laughing it off. But I still am. Today, I am sick of it. There's nothing much to look in there in actual fact. All of ppl's rubbish and crap feelings, includ. mine, I admit. Gives you soooo much negativity, doesn't it? Emo. Some purportedly put these statuses up to gain sympathy and/or gain comments so that you can also sympathize with them. They demand a comment/response as if it is what they deserve. If, so, I prefer to meet face to face.


"So that everyone will care about what you feel" - Nope, that's not what I wanted in the first place. Many statuses are MISINTEPRETED. A whole hell lot of SPECULATION in FB; even positive msges can be speculative. It's useless. Sometimes, I do believe the status has no meaning in it. Many just simply click on 'like' although it has nothing to do with u at all. Don't perasan. What a shame to be trigger-happy on FB!! Tsk Tsk.

One time, I did a social experiment and post a nonsense msg (simply write a stupid depressed msg, which I totally create out of nothing :P ) - and guess what?! Ppl go and comment and wrote so-called 'positive' comments on it. Tricked! Kena bluffed. Hahahaha...For the fun of it.

Well, this is what FB is for anyway. For kaypoh ppl and sensitive ppl to dwell upon. As if what I wrote is true. I love social experiments; I made-up statuses on FB to see how perasan ppl react. I accept that it is a social media where ppl are sooo kaypoh and they start speculating what it actually meant, and eventually (as always) most ppl got the whole meaning WRONG! Gosh, I put up some sad song from YouTube, then they misinterpreted it that the status is about them or is about me being sad. Comments like: "Don't be to sad. Life will be better" pops up!? Huh? I shared a sad song, but that doesn't mean I am sad! That's why, I prefer Twitter where most status goes unnoticed! Maybe it's just me, I like low profile.

***Some ppl are perasan giler. Go get a life! Why do you think everything I say or DO must be related to you (sensitive!) or you must know (kaypoh). Who are you to me that demands my attention? Why some ppl so kaypoh in what you do on FB vs. ACTUALLY really meant? If I untagged my photos, it's just means that I don't like my facial expression and how I look in that photo, it DOESN'T MEAN ANY THING ELSE. NOTHING ELSE. IT DOESN'T MEAN I DISLIKE YOU BEING IN THE SAME PICTURE AS I, GET IT!?!?!?! My reasons are as simple as that. Why sooo sensitive and emo over what I do? Even my mum don't give a damn, why should you? Democracy - I get to do what I like to do. Thanks for being kaypoh over what I do on FB. Get a life of your own, pls! Fuck off.

Lately, I've been receiving all sorts of negative stuffs and connotations in FB. Worst still, it has been clogging up my mailbox. Gmail allows you to prioritize your emails lately, but to me, it's still a whole lot of mails. I created a new gmail solely for my FB msg already....

Yes...which ultimately leads to what I am about to say: I am quitting FB. Just FB. No one knows what happens to me anymore. But if you do, then Twitter me. Or Buzz me. Or chat with me (I need to say this too: I loathe FB chats!; interface sucks). Want to go out yum cha? - call me. Also, my company is slowly monitoring on websites that staffs are surfing on. I don't want to be top of the chart and/or being categorized as an FB-addict at work. :P I am totally moving away (I'll try).

I believe it will remove all negativity that some fb-friends have indirectly imposed upon me. If you wanna see me, or miss me, then text me....like it always have been. Come out face-to-face to meet. I am sooo willing! SMS me whenever u like. Don't FB me as it'll not be read. Though I know u like to pose all your happy pics (just like I did before), I don't give a damn anymore. I am posting all my pics in Picasa.

I won't lose anything. I won't lose True friends. I won't lose connectivity. I've seen many of my friends not having/not updating FB, and lose nothing. That's what I call Life.

So, want to know what I do daily then? .....

...."DON'T SOOO KAY POH LAH"....

P/S: This is also a social experiment for me, to see if I can live for months/years without FB.




Fullstop to FB.