The REAL wedding story.

http://www.mywedding.com/chongyitivy/index.html

I have heard of little girls dreaming of their BIG DAY. I wonder why I never had such dreams. Mum say I have male testosterone overwhelming in my system since I was a kid. I hated Barbie. And her partner Ken. All I dreamt of when I was a little girl was how to beat up my elder brother who was a bully at home, and win a gold medal in swimming, and be a doctor.

As my wedding drew near, I still did not keep my nails long; I broke the longest nail on my middle finger all because it broke while I opened up stubborn little lids of tin-boxes a.k.a. favours (but still, 500 boxes!)  to put in chocolate Kisses and hearts. Never thought wedding favours was ever in my favour, but it just happen. I saw it online, and I immediately wanted this door gift for my guests.

Chocolates into wedding favours. Stupid lid. Too tight.

My manicurist complaints that my nails were too short to be a bride, therefore solid colours are a no-no. 

I don't exactly know why girls would enjoy preparing for their wedding, because I totally hated it. At first. I screamed murder when I had to buy and bring back 2000 pieces of chocolates from Langkawi. And thanks to bloody-kiss-my-ass AirAsia, I had to pay RM75 for the extra check-in chocolates due its policy. But I must say, I love the Bachelorette hang-out at Langkawi's Rebak Island resort with my besties - Kim, Pink, Raine, Cal. Like, A LOT.

Groupfie: My besties and I at Langkawi. More post on Langkawi, next!

Then, I realised that I put on around 1 kg three weeks before my wedding. I blame it on Beijing's sub-temperatures that made me eat tonnes of food. Also the lack of any forms of exercise over the whole month. And the Chinese New Year cookies. Oh well, it's just a wedding, whatever works. I tried on my wedding gown and was like - hmmppphhh....not working: the lace sleeved gown I did really, really like was bulking my up shoulders and my breast looked too awesome to be me, while my Qipao was suddenly tight at the ass. Damn.

Was my number.1 dress. Did love it a lot: laces and bare-back. But at the end of the day, it wasn't fiting on my shoulders. Blah.

Then I realised I should just wear a Princess-cut ball gown to conceal my tummy fats and increased weight at my thigh area. Puffy stuff, but works for all body shapes. Thank God for Taobao.com, I carefully purchase a stunning wedding ball-gown online for a-price-you-cannot-believe-it-is-so-damn-cheap in Beijing with the help of my Chinese colleagues.

I like it super simple. This is a princess-cut ball gown.

And then came the games for the jip-san-leong. Can't make the games too easy, can't be too difficult also. So how? My besties helped me up. Thank God for Levene and sis and at the end of the day, plus every single chi-mui and chi-kor that volunteered, the games plans was finally laid out.

The Pledge

Then, I realised I have no small notes to give angpow. All RM50. Luckilly brother works in the bank.

Then, I realised I no make up artist for my actual morning as I do not want to rush to the bridal shop and back home again on my wedding morning. Okay, grab Fong's cousin, Jane. She's good!

Almost forgotten to re-dye my hair. No more burgundy red, but this time it went wayyyyy too blonde. Chi-muis complaint, so I had to had a temporary dark brown spray across my hair done by Jane on the morning itself.

Then, I realised, guest list still not jive yet. Not synchro at all. Some not yet RSVP. Headache giler wei. 500 guests in total. And 70% of the guests I have no idea who they are. The hardest part of the wedding planning is THIS.

Then I realised my cousins need to sing. Because I want them to. What if the DVD player doesn't play out the songs?

What if no one turns up for the Sek Chao Fun, when I ordered a lot? What if my outstation guests couldn't find my new house?

Amazing buffet food and decor by Best Cathering, Ipoh

All the way from Iran for my sek-chao-fun. 

Chi mui and Chi kor were briefed on the games for next day by Maid-of Honour - Levene

My long, long friend - Mike who takes great pictures. Okay, I miss my long hair now.

SO, WHO SAYS WEDDING IS ENJOYABLE!?!!?!

The planning isn't, but the actual wedding day was pretty enjoyable. My actual day photographers, Jeremy and Cronus made it work. They made me feel calm as they give good directions throughout the day. My make up artist made me into perfection. My mum panicked, but she managed it at the end of the morning. All chi muis were all helpful. My lead chi mui, Levene is the BEST!!!! I give her all the credit for the WHOLE DAY!

Undeniably, both my sis-in-laws are amazing - Vivien and Meagan. They have gone through wedding process, therefore experiences play a huge role here. Helpful is an understatement. Vivien conducted the whole wedding dinner, while Meagan played a huge role during in the morning to pack my stuffs to my 'new' home and during dinner, handled the guests and seatings.

I was tired due to the many gold chains and bangles and rings all over my body. Not that I am complaining, but I was really tired as I didn't sleep the night before. I was more worried of whether I could last through my wedding dinner. I fear I might turn into a Bridezilla at night.

I just sit through the night, thinking...hhmmmphhh....how can I go table by table to toast? A total of 50. I also knew that I need to at least have one sip of that 'Buddha Jump Over The Wall' (second dish). It was hearty and delicious! I also had a bite of the roast suckling pig and it was awesome. I knew this was the restaurant if you wanted good food. However and sadly, I didn't get to try any other dishes that was served out. Time is luxury.

Buddha Jump Over the Wall

Loh Mai fun

Mix vege

Big prawn head

Suckling pig and chicken

Oh well, weddings are a pain if you look at it like how I looked at it in the beginning. But the joy came naturally when you see yourself like a princess and never before looking so stunning. My estrogen hormones took over and I began to enjoy the process of a wedding. My wedding. Tiredness is secondary when you see your relatives, friends and family having fun during your wedding. Effects and make-up does make a lot of difference, and is a necessity; look for a good and professional photographer and/or make up artist to help you out throughout the day.

If you are still not married, you will scream at me when I say this: "Planning a wedding is a pain. Thank God for this once-in-a-lifetime event". But looking back, I wouldn't do anything different for my wedding. Oh well, maybe lose a bit of weight.

*we women are never satisfied*

Special thanks to:
1. Levene Wong (million hugs and kisses to my Maid-of-Honour!)
2. Tan Vee Vien (million kisses and amazing voice)
3. Tan Vee Nie a.k.a. Katniss Everdeen
4. Janice & Siow Nee (really help out throughout the day without complain)
5. Kimberley
6. Sua Jo Nie
7. Lorraine
8. Callie
9. Fipink (Thank you besties no.5,6,7,8, 9 for the never ending support and love throughout the years)
10. Ow
11. Kenny
12. Beh (Thank you chi-kor no. 10, 11, 12 for the effort and daring to help up)
13. Arshia (Thank you for all the many years of honest opinions, sobs and joy together. You have never fail me)
14. Ardavan (You will be better than your brother soon)
15. Yeng Pooi (my supposed-to-be Maid of Honour. Really really wished things would turned out differently and you could be here. Thank you for background support)
16. Jeremy L. & Cronus, & Jane Fong (macam directors to me that altogether created the stunning, princess me *kowtow*)
17. Uncle George and Wife for his timeliness and his super, super beautiful Bentley
18. Other friends which I wish could name them all here.
19. Both sides of my family and all relatives.



Amen to these great friends, family, relatives who are supportive and really helpful to my mum and dad, that came from near and far. God bless you all.

Btw, we have no honeymoon planned out yet. Suggestions appreciated.


** photos courtesy of friends and family personal shots.

There will only be one shot at this.

Unlike those times (yes, your mum and dad's time) where wedding consisted only of a:

1. Wedding reception/day/dinner/luncheon in a restaurant/community hall.

2. Studio photo which photographs you and your spouse, and it only consist of 2 frames:

    i) First frame: Bride and Groom standing hand in hand with each other.

    ii) Second frame: Bride sits on a chair and Groom standing next to her.

3. All with camera film rolls. Photoshop does not exist yet.

....while in this decade, a wedding gets much more complicated.

Reception

This part cannot avoid if you are Chinese. But hey, exceptions exists whereby I've got this colleague who has not conducted her wedding reception since 5 years back. She's legally married, but no reception. Well, not a problem actually. It was for the reason of cost and hassle. Wedding receptions ain't cheap anymore. If ambient is your choice i.e. hotel, then there might be a trade-off in terms of food quality and taste, and vice versa. No doubt some places have the best of both worlds.

Customs like tea ceremony for the Chinese is unavoidable. I've not seen a Chinese wedding that has not had their tea ceremony done. But many Chinese (many Gen X and Y who has had their knowledge of Chinese customs diluted) do not perform the traditional guo dai lei (betrothal gifts) anymore. Also many Chinese has followed the western tradition completely - which is completely fine - though I find the traditional Chinese customs still relevant, symbolical, and personally - a must. Nothing to do with religion, mind you. It's all customs that I believe should be kept through the generations and not get adulterated by other wedding styles.

Helloooo, we even sought Mak Seng Loong for their timing and date selections. Again, nothing religious.

Don't ask me the content. All in chinese wei.

The great outdoors

The biggest trend setter in the current wedding scene. To say this trend is 'current' is not entirely correct either. Indoor studio photoshoot has always been a normal thing to do. But the biggest wedding trend is to bring your outdoor photoshoot to some scenic or lomo places, and trendier still - a foreign land where glaciers, trees, seas and sand are considered exquisite and exotic. Many couples has gone the distance to personalized their pre-wedding shoot in some alien country or location, somehow to distinguish themselves from the rest of the pack. NZ, Melbourne, Bali, Taiwan, Korea, Italy, etc. are no longer a dream-come-true but rather an affordable and practical feat for many couples.

I've got my pre-wedding shoot in a distant place (disctant from KL lah) but not a foreign land.We chose this place as to capture pre-wedding photo with my husband because this was where we had our first out-of-KL&Ipoh holiday trip and how we together hike up the hills and took paths that no normal person would do. Regular people will just drive up there, but because we both ain't 'regular people', we walked up miles to get to that scenic site. Albeit the local venue, it was one of my most memorable trip ever. It was our connection to that location. The cooling weather was also one reason I select this location. When you've got cool weather, the whole tedious photoshoot process becomes bearable and pleasurable. My elaborated dress has got no sweat! We brought our own props to personalize our outdoor shoot. On that day, rain clouds are missing (yay!), the sun gave just the right amount of light (to the photographer's delight), the crowd and traffic was forgiving (it was non-peak period, puasa month), and the sunset was amazing!

Baby boomers just like my parents never had such chance to go to a outdoor photoshooting found such trends intimidating and a waste of money. Oh well, how could they understand when their marriage consisted only of 2 studio photos - one with their bodies in it and another with my late grandparents and their....err...tai-kam-che in it. wtf!

Copy-paste, Alt-delete

One of the greatest invention ever(?) is the digital camera. So I thought. Then, came Instagram with various lomo filters. Those already brought great differences between the baby-boomers compared to the present Gen X and Y. We now have many options in photography:

Those times, camera film rolls are expensive and processing them into prints requires at least a week (dark blue room, remember?). Photographers at those times take every shot extremely cautiously so that they don't waste frames. One chance only. Nowadays, photographers go frenzy with the snapping. If don't like...just delete. Actually, if don't like....can Photoshop. 

So these Bridal Shop offers you packages that has >100 shots, indoor and outdoor. Plus giving you the option to choose your photos to photoshop before printing them out in albums. They photoshopped out my mole. wth. That's like....travesty ok! I knew my albums would be nicely wrapped and collect dust until one day my grandchildren finds them under the bed or on top of the cupboard and decided to sell them off at a junkyard sale, therefore I didn't splurge on our pre-wedding shoot although we've gotten ourselves a great bargain from this bridal shop in Ipoh. 

Any bridal package comes with makeup and hairdo, of course. Make up for the photoshoot was purportedly done unnatural (read: OTT) because in prewedding shoots, the background elements and picturesque scenery may drown your looks. Imagine a leafy tea bush looking nicer than my beautiful face? I can't. So my make up artist (FYI, she's patient and amazing!) put on tonnes of foundation and concealer and spent 3 hours/day mainly on my eyes alone - carving out my brows, bringing out my lashes, and reinforced my double eye-lids. Total: 3 hours X 2 days of photoshoot = 6 hours. I had this huge big eyes that even my mum can't recognize me. Plus, you can Photoshop everything, so...imagine the outcome?!

Argh, a blurry handphone pic of me. Love this hairdo

One of the 7 dresses. SEVEN!

Getting ready for family shoot

We've gotten ourselves an award-winning photographer for my actual wedding day and night (Read: mahal giler). My justification: I tone down on my pre-wedding, but I splurge on my actual day wedding photographer.

Now, if my parents are reading this, they are sure to mutilate me. 

One chance to do this in this lifetime. Tell you honestly, I didn't think earlier I would have enjoyed planning my wedding this much . It' ain't going to be a royal, dreamy or a fantasy wedding like Kim Kardashian's. In fact, I don't have a dream wedding in mind since young. But it's good enough for me. Personalized.

A New Leaf

I devoted 6 freakin' manhours to complete this 'Save The Date" composition with Corel Draw. Was dead tired. Graphics designing is definitely not in my blood.

You may think 1st March 2014 is next year, but it's actually just a good 10 months away. All good restaurants in Ipoh are fully booked at this point of time (some booked since 2 years back), so I am not that early to send this, y'know! Even as I am writing this, we are still scrambling to get a good restaurant in Ipoh.

Plus, I will be in TX, USA for most of the second half of this year so it's pretty ridiculous to have my wedding in 2013. And it's not easy to plan when one half is here and another is there.

The formal invitation, which I clearly will not design myself, will follow.

Cheers!