Sensitive

Talking about ones beauty is a taboo. I think this post does reveal a bit of my courage in battling acne.

I was born with smooth skin. Ok, which baby doesn't, right? But even after I've hit puberty, throughout my youthful days (circa 15-24 years old) my face skin was as smooth as baby bump albeit a systematic quantifiable amount of stubborn black heads on my nose. I inherited my daddy's family's good genes which possesses smooth and fair skin. Even though swimming was my main sport during secondary school and university days, I did wonder why I was blessed without any major skin problems even with direct exposure to UV during sports.

Then I got really dark. This was the turning point. The blazing morning sun while teaching swimming every other day starts to turn my face skin into some colour even Pantone can't establish its number. I guess, in my own terms, it was: olive greenish chlorine colour. And when you get olive greenish chlorine as your skin colour, that triggers an alarm to start using a stronger sunblock. I knew any sunblock >SPF50 was already strong and should start to clog your pores. However, I was more concerned about not-getting-dark rather than clogged-pores, because...you thought ....hey, you are blessed with perfect skin, so why care about acne! I resorted to a sunblock which was SPF50 that was water-proof. Water.proof.because.I.am.in.the.swim.pool.all.the.time. At that time, I knew if you don't have a good cleanser to remove these water-proof sunblock, you'll find that you have your pores clogged for the rest of the day.

The problematic product (fr Australia). Never use this on your face.

First symptom was the black and white heads on my nose and T-zones, which eventually turn into multitude of acne at random areas of my forehead & cheeks. I thought if I don't touch it, it will go away. Articles have always recommended NOT TO TOUCH your pimples even if it's full-blown acne that has oozing pusses and head (On the contrary, I found out from a dermatologist that if you do not remove this kinda acne, you are going to have it worse. So do something about it. Don't leave these acne alone). 

I didn't remove or touch the acne (so wrong), and still persisted on the same daily sunblock >SPF 50. Swimming mahhh. The 'very-high-protection' sunblock did protect me from getting dark, but on the other hand caused a major acne outbreak on my face. I was devastated with the condition of my skin 'til I cried. I've never seen myself looking like a red-face monster. I went for a facial treatment and the facial centre asked me to use all their products which has AHA/BHA which was actually worse for my skin in the long term. I bought their 'lies' because I was naive. You see, the ingredient AHA is an exfoliator that removes your outer-most protective layer of your face skin. It helps temporarily removing your blackheads/acne. But if you don't use a good moisturizer after use of any product containing AHA, you are going to have NO protective layer at all be it natural or synthetic. Your skin becomes hypersensitive. And any slight irritants causes your sensitive skin to blow up into pimples that even my mum likened it to small-pox. 

This was what happened to me. I cried to my mum on why would such 'disease' happen to me. Me! I thought my skin improved after a few facial, but suddenly gotten worst than when I didn't had facial. 

I went to my aunt who works all her life as a skin consultant (not dermatologist). She now works as the manager of a reputable skin center at Bangsar Shopping Centre that advocates products such as Dermalogica and Clinelle. Upon consulting her, she gave me free facial (at her home), removed alllll the acne (5 hours, mind you) and advised me to stop all products that has AHA or BHA and no more scrubs/exfoliators. Also she ask me to tell the facial lady not to massage my face too much as it stimulates the formation of acne. She interviewed me and said that that the sunblock was the main culprit. Second culprit was using AHA-containing products, and thirdly, not properly identifying what the underlying cause of my acne was. I went straight to battle with my face without even knowing why I waged war.

I continued using Dermalogica products for a year and now, my skin has improved tremendously. I have ample scars due to extraction of hard-core/deep acne (=jerawat batu), but I know these scars may subside soon as I was still youthful. Ahem. My aunt used to say that my skin problem is a YOUTH problem, shouldn't be happening to young adults like me.

So, my advice to readers who faced similar problems:

1. Go facial. Basic facial is a very important regime that one must do primarily to extract your black/white heads. But you can let your facial center know that you don't want to use their products. Ask them not to over massage your face as that stimulates pore activity. 

2. People/some articles say not to do anything to your pimples. That's bulls**t. Do something. Go to Youtube and see how they press out the pimples (in a hygienic manner). At home, these pimples can only be remove with hands (by popping them out) if the pimples are already masak (got head). If not masak yet, leave the pimple alone until masak.

3. Cleanse your skin very thoroughly. Remove all makeup and sunblock properly using makeup removal. Wash your face from sweat immediately after any sport activity. But don't over-wash your face. Don't wash more than 3 times a day as that may dry up your face skin. Your skin will try to compensate the dryness by producing more oil = Oily skin = bacteria loves oil = acne. 

4. Please/must use the right Moisturizer. Because my skin was over-sensitized (epidermis removed) and there was no more more protective layer, my complacency of not using the right moisturizer (=protection) has caused my skin to be directly exposed to any external irritants e.g. sun, sweat, etc. So, when I didn't use moisturizer, it also did not provide my skin the nutrient to build back the outer-most protective natural layer. Even if you think you have oily skin, still use a moisturizer but choose the right type (e.g. gel-type, water-base, etc.).

5. Back to basics: Cleanse --> Mask/Tone --> Moisturize --> Sunblock LOL! Of course, I do put makeup on on big events. 

6. It is never due to coffee. Stress= yes. But not coffee. Don't blame it on coffee, ya?

This is not all of it. I've more in my bathroom.

I don't know if Dermalogica is for everyone, but after searching for the longest time and after incurring thousands of $$$ to search for the right product, Dermalogica products seems to work best on my skin. I've tried the infamous SKII and yet it gave me problems as it was too rich for my skin. 

I still have a pimples visiting me one in a while. Sometimes 5 pimples visit me on a hormonal day or stressful period. But it was still soooooooo much better compared to the previous year. My skin was 10% okay (diseased!), but now it is 80% good with scars, but I am not bothered about the scars. Having pimples showed that I still have oils in me. Which indirectly translates to youthfulness. Hah!

I am loving April!

It's April 09!!!! And before you know it will be December 09 soon...time flies!!

Time flew pass me too quickly and I which I had a time machine to turn back time. But I am somehow, somehow very glad to have arrived at the month of April.

Why I need April soo badly and to put March behind me real quickly:

1. My laptop hard-disk crashed on me. I cried. My housemate said I trembled soo bad, I might had fits. I was screaming but no voice came out cause I had no voice. NO voice because my health on March was extremely bad that IN every week in the horrible month of March, I had at least a disease worst than the ugly vocab of Chikugunya - it usually turned out to be a cold, a runny nose, a cough, a sore-throat or a no-voice problem. Somtimes I feel like God's giving me an MCQ on my health so that I can choose which disease I want for that week (or Semua Di Atas!). So, the day my hard-disk betrayed me was the week that I had almost no voice! NO VOICE!! You deemed yourselves lucky as I was having my PMS that week and my greatest weapon (viz. voice) was not working.

Ish Ish Ish....but I thank God for my brainy decision months before to backup my Ph.D. work. Tada!!! introducing my beloved Google Docs and Office Live Workspace! Though one week worth of writings were lost.....SOB SOB!!!! :( ......at least I've got to retrieve some significant work from those backups. As of now, I will continue to type from my online office.

(BTW, I've gotten myself a new hard disk di!)

2. Okay, you guys have been saying that my housemate and I were crazy ppl that never stop having ideas of doing this and that, but it's never done or even never got started. Pink is the ultimate procrastinator, while I am tag hugely with the ugly word 'complacency'. However:
Actually, behind your backs, we have done something......very big, but it is a still a big secret. That's one reason why we can't wait for APRIL to come! We will both reveal it soon.

Oh, how our mums are going to kill us :P

A 'horror' movie called "The Urge"

I decided to head back to Ipoh. Meeting a family doctor and a family who celebrates the return of their VIP daughter to Ipoh. Since the afternoon barbeque at a farm in UPM (see previous post), I've not pass motion. If I get my maths right, it's been 14 days(??!??!?! ) since I last poo-poo. This remains the most embarassing medical condition yet for me, but hey, it's an extremely SERIOUS medical condition - not a laughing matter! Many people theorized about my condition for not having the urge to go toilet and I think I would gladly sum up their reasons and publish a paper entitled "No Urge in Poo-ing Is a Big Problem for Ivy. Coffee may be the cause." and get a Ph.D.

I know everyone's being helpful, but I unless I go to see a doctor, no solution is reliable. Solutions/Reasons proposed by various individuals: Prunes, Durian (!?!), Vitamin C, Lack of Magnesium, Lactose intolerance, Petai, Papaya, Dragon Fruit, Durian (?) Durian(?) and ya, Durians (REALLY?!). Thank you, my new housemate for buying me prunes extract that costs her a fortune, but unfortunately money can't buy my Urge.

And people, please STTTOOOPPP blaming my Starbucks. My medical condition has nothing to do with coffee. I'm sure of it. If non of this stop, I will post a video on Youtube crying and begging everyone LEAVE MY COFFEE (habits) ALONE!! (hint: leave-britney-alone video) :P

Ms. SJMC

Ms. SJMC was the name given to me by my aikido instructor due to my frequent apperance in Subang Jaya Medical Centre. I worked there for 3 months in 2003, but I still think I don't deserve this nickname!

This time I was warded due to a mild fits. My body was overstressed though my mind was basically 'normal'. (No worries, I still am Ph.D. material :) I don't know how to define my disease but basically my bones and joins all got numb and my heartbeat was so quick i thought I had a heart attack. I just couldn't move and my body starts to ache like crazy (esp. my neck)!! Plus, my legs were wobbly. And I broke out in cold sweats. I thought it was denggi fever or some viral fever, but I don't even have a temperature to start with. Both the SJMC doctor and my doctor uncle added that it could be a panic attack or stress-related disorder. Maybe a nervous breakdown.

So, here I was in SJMC. Results showed that my white blood count was extremely high that I thought it was leukemia (doc didn't think so, but I'm soo 'proud' to query him about leukemia). Touchwood, hope it's not. Just my immune system went to its lowest low. Got some bacteria infection in blood and urine (could be due to low immunity) but still....weirdest thing....no fever!!!! Drink loads of water (coffee can ahh?) and rest (sleep) more was the advice. Hey, but I thought I slept a lot in Redang!??!?! Damn.

After a burst appendicitis and my initial Bell's palsy scare, I always know what to do first thing I feel ANY pain - GO TO SJMC! (because got insurance already marrr).

Condemned on both occasions.

Valentine's day (to my horror) is looming. Watching movies alone (again???!) and no popcorns to share with? My plan on V-day: re-watch Brokeback Mountain.

CNY was a major dissapointment because I was sick. On CNY's eve, the right side of my jaw and cheekbone were killing me. I blamed my wisdom tooth but I realised don't have any Wisdom since hell knows. So, what was it??? I wikipedia-ed the symptoms. Nothing. The pain throbs thru' the whole CNY eve dinner and starts to intensified 'til my neck got stiffened and soon my migrain started. Went to Assunta the next day and the doctor said I have some sinus points blocked. Bla Bla Bla bla bla bla bla.... Then my heart skipped a beat when she said the word: Bell's palsy. I felt like I was passed the death sentence (because it sounded like I was going to get retarded i.e. 'cere-bral palsy'), but who or what is this Bell??? Then I remembered my friend Kelvin Hew had something similar but I forgot the name of the penyakit. My two-week-incurable-runny-stuffy-nose-cum cold could be the trigger of it.

Then, my doctor uncle and aunt came on the second day. I asked them many questions about Bell. I ask JoNie too. All of them scared me to death with their explanation of the disease. Thanks Jo for the help and the fear instilled :P There's no medication. Just rest and let my nerves grow back. 2-6 weeks. Could be 6 months to 1 year. Depends. I really died-ed.

Btw, I still look leng-lui as usual, and my face is not SENGET. Not senget, ok!!? I can still smile and laugh. So, jangan harap ler, Beh!

Happy Chinese New Year and Valentine's Day. H/P: 016-2639631 if you want to watch Brokeback and cry with me.